A Day in the Life of Martha Stewart
by Turquoise Rose
Summary: Well, a bizzare chain of events leads to Snape having some intresting days.
1. Sweet Cakes

**A Day In The Life Of Martha Stewart**

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the Harry Potter Characters…I'm merely a desperate HP fan going through withdrawals…hehe.

_It's Monday. It's raining outside. I'm tired. I'm cold. The floors are cold. I want my slippers. Where are they? Why did I stay up so late last night? Why won't I just get out of bed? Did I have homework to do last night? Yes…for potions. Damnit. Where is everyone? Ron? Neville? Someone? I guess everyone went to eat already. I'm hungry. Get up Harry. Why are you being so lazy? Get up. What time is it? I have to shower. I bet the water will be cold. My muscles hurt. Why? Ugh…._

Harry's thoughts were interrupted by the door to the dormitory swinging open with a loud creak.

"Harry! What the hell are you still doing in bed? Get up. You'll be late!" Ron Exclaimed.

"I know," Harry mumbled back.

"Then get up."

"I've been trying to. I'm just a bit sluggish right now."

"You can't afford to be sluggish. We've got a potions quiz in half an hour. If you miss class, you'll be killed." Harry sat up.

"Really now? By who?" Harry inquired.

"Either Snape or Hermione. Whoever gets to you first." Ron joked.

Harry smirked. Slowly, he managed to swing his feet off the bed.

"Ron. Have you seen my slippers?"

"No?" Ron replied very unconvincingly. "I'm guessing you're not going to believe me."

"Where are they?"

"Crookshanks must've found them. They're downstairs…shredded by the fireplace." Harry groaned in frustration.

"Great. This day's just going to get worse. I can feel it."

"You're being pessimistic, Mate. You've been a real downer lately. You need to stop being so negative."

"Ha. That's funny coming from the one who complains about everything."

"Shut it." Ron chucked a pillow at Harry. Both started laughing. "Just hurry up and get downstairs." Ron turned and left the room. Harry took a long stare at the cold, stone floor before setting his feet down on it. Eventually, Harry got up and got showered and ready for class. He made his way down the stairs to the common room. Hermione and Ron rose from the couch. Hermione had Harry's slippers in hand.

"Sorry Harry." Hermione said handing them to him.

"Why didn't you just toss them? They're useless to me now." Hermione opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out. Her eyes shifted over to Ron.

"He's in a bit of a mood this morning. He'll get over it. Don't let him get to you."

Harry had just left the dorms without saying a word. Ron and Hermione followed him. The three walked into potions and took their seats. Snape looked particularly ominous today. Swooping around the class, glaring at students walking in.

"I've decided," Snape started, "Instead of quizzing you on what we did last week, I'm going to quiz you on what you should have read this weekend."

A low groan came from the class.

"Those of you who have done what you're supposed to, have nothing to worry about."

Harry picked up his book.

"Worthless piece of crap." As Harry opened the book to look at what he was supposed to read last night.

"Close your book Mr. Potter." Snape said as he hovered above him.

As Harry shut his book, it began to fall out of his hands. He fumbled with it for a moment, to try and get the book back on his desk. Instead, it found its way to the floor, right beneath Snape's feet. Everything seemed to be in slow-motion. Snape's foot caught the book, and down he fell. Everyone looked. Harry clapped his hand over his mouth. Snape hit the ground hard. A loud thud was heard when his head hit the stone floor. Silence. Nobody knew what to do. Snape was lying on the ground knocked out cold.

"Someone has to get him to the hospital wing!" Hermione piped up.

"Cool it Hermione. Let's enjoy this for a moment." Ron said.

Harry was still shocked at what had just happened.

"No, Ron, Hermione's right. We've got to get him up there."

"Are you alright Harry? You just knocked out Snape. You should be rejoicing."

"Are you sure I'm not dreaming Ron?" Harry asked.

"Can I punch you in the face to find out?" Ron asked with an eager smile.

"No. Don't touch me." Harry replied quickly.

Harry and Hermione ran up to the hospital wing and got Madam Pomfrey. She brought Snape to the hospital wing and took care of the huge gash he had on his head. Snape was knocked out for 3 days, and it just happened that on the day Harry was in the hospital wing, to see how he was, he woke up. Harry was caught like a deer in the headlights. Snape looked Harry dead in the eye.

"Professor, before you say anything, I just want to apologize about what happened and I didn't mean for it to happen. It definitely wasn't intentional. If I could go back in time, I would undo what I've done. I'm deeply sorry. I…."

"Harry," Snape said in the gentlest way. Harry was taken aback.

"Sir?"

"Don't you worry about it. I'm fine. It happens."

"But, I…" Harry stammered.

"Harry. It's alright. You didn't do it on purpose."

"Okay." Harry said in a very confused manner.

"Do me a favor though, Harry."

"Yes?" He said cautiously.

"If you could, go down to the kitchens and fetch me a sweet cake or two. The food up here is terrible. But make sure you find one without rhubarb. Rhubarb makes my complexion all splotchy." Harry's jaw dropped. He couldn't believe what Snape had just said.

"Yeah. Sure. No problem," Harry said with hesitation.

"Thank you so much Harry dear."

Harry turned and quickly walked out of the hospital wing. Instead of going to the kitchens, he ran straight to the Gryffindor common rooms. Ron and Hermione were sitting on the couch. Harry burst in and startled Hermione.

"Harry! What's going on?" Hermione squeaked.

With a half smirk, Harry replied. "You have to come up to the hospital wing and see Snape."

More to come…I will finish it. Ch.2 up Very soon.


	2. Ghastly Hair

Harry slumped down onto the couch joining Ron and Hermione. Harry began to laugh hysterically.

"Harry, What happened?" Ron asked.

"You've got to come with me." Harry said.

"To see Snape?" Hermione asked cautiously.

"Yeah, but trust me, you have to see this." Harry got up and started for the door.

"Harry. I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on," said Hermione.

"I'd rather you see it for yourself than me explain it to you." Hermione Just gave Harry a look that said, 'I'm waiting for you to tell me.' Harry sighed. "Fine. Snape is acting really strange."

"Define strange." Hermione pressed.

"Hermione! C'mon! I wanna see this!" Ron whined. The three look at each other for a moment. Hermione gave in.

"Alright. Lets go." Hermione said reluctantly.

"Cool, but we have to stop by the kitchens first."

"For what!" Ron and Hermione said simultaneously.

"You'll find out." Harry teased. The three walked down to the kitchens. Hermione, still fighting for elf-rights, couldn't bare to see the poor things at work; She stayed outside in the hallway. Moments later, Ron and Harry came back out to the hallway.

"Why did you get cakes Harry?" Hermione asked. Harry had a smirk on his face that said, 'I'm not telling.' Ron shoved Harry, almost knocking him into a stone statue.

"Okay, I'll tell you." The three continued to walk up to the hospital wing. "When I was up there, Snape woke up, but he was so gentle and kind in his words. He asked me to get him sweet cakes." Ron chortled. "Oh it gets better. He asked me to get him ones without rhubarb, because rhubarb is bad for his complexion."

"Quit lying Harry," Hermione said quickly.

"I'm not! Watch, when we walk there, you'll see what I'm talking about."

Quietly, the three walked into the hospital wing. They set their eyes on Snape, who was trimming his hair with a pair of scissors.

"Harry. My cakes. Thank you very much dear boy. If you could just set them down on my little table right here." Hermione and Ron's jaws both dropped. "Ron. Hermione, so nice to see you."

"Eh….. Likewise Professor." Hermione said cheerily. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh. I'm fine. Although this ghastly hair of mine, I had to give it a wash and a bit of a trim. Do you like it?" Snape shook his head a tad to get his hair moving.

"I do like it. The layering suits you." Hermione replied. Ron coughed as he tried to hide his laughing.

"Are you alright Ron? I hope you're not getting ill." Snape asked concerning.

"I-I-I'm-I'm okay," Ron replied shakily.

"Good." Snape smiled. "The last thing I would want is one of my students to be getting sick and missing class." Snape's face brightened as if he'd just had a brilliant idea. "Speaking of missing class, I do hope I'll be well enough to teach class tomorrow."

"Oh…Sir." Harry started. "Are you sure you should do that? I mean, you need to get better first."

" Yeah!" Ron chimed in. "You need plenty of rest. I think you should cancel classes for a while. You should focus on getting well."

"Oh, no. I couldn't just leave your eager young minds without stimulation. I have to teach classes. Don't mind me. Really, I'll be fine. Besides, I've been resting so peacefully for 3 days now." Snape replied.

There was an awkward silence. Snape had a cheery smile on his face as he ate one of his cakes. Harry, Ron and Hermione looked to each other as if someone had the answer as to what to do now. They'd never been in such a position before.

"So, Professor, we should be going now. We have some things to get done…" Hermione said quickly.

"Yeah. Lots of studying to do." Harry added. As the three were just about to turn and leave, a pitiful voice came from Snape.

"Please, don't go." Snape's face was so sorrowful. "I never get the right chance to talk to anyone."

"I wonder why," Ron slipped under his breath. Hermione elbowed him.

"What do you mean sir?" Hermione asked.

"I always have the distinct feeling that students don't like me. I can't imagine why. I'm so nice." Snape said honestly. Ron sniggered, then tried to hide it by coughing violently.

"Ron," Hermione said firmly, "maybe you should go out into the hall and clear out whatever is in your throat." Ron shot a glare to Hermione, but left the hospital wing.

"Are you sure he'll be alright?" Snape asked.

"Don't you mind him. He'll be okay." Harry reassured.

"Look, Professor, if you really want someone to talk to, I'd be more than happy to stay."Snape's face lit up.

"Really? Y-you'd do that for me?" Snape asked cautiously.

"Of course."

Snape smiled gently. It looked as if a tear was welling up in one of his eyes. Harry became uncomfortable.

"Umm…..I'm going to go see if Ron is okay." There was a short silence. "I hope you feel better professor."

"Thank you Harry." Snape said quietly.

"I'm going to go ahead and stay here." Hermione said.

Harry Nodded. With that, Harry left the hospital wing. Out in the hall, Ron was looking slightly flushed.

"That Hermione's got a lot of nerve!" Ron burst out as soon as Harry had shut the hospital wing door.

"What are you talking about Ron?" Harry asked in confusion.

"She called me out like I'm a child or something!"

"You were being rude. Laughing at him like that."

"Are you serious Harry? You're siding with Hermione?"

"I'm not taking sides Ron. I'm just saying, you should've had more respect than that."

"Are you crazy? When will you see Snape acting like that ever again? You're not even taking any enjoyment out of this situation." Ron almost yelled.

"Ron, I was having fun with it. I did laugh. But did you see the pain in his eyes when he said he never gets to talk to anyone? Did you see how hurt he was?"

"You feel sorry for him, don't you?"

"I do. Don't you?" Harry asked. Ron's eyes became shifty.

"Kinda." Ron was quiet for a second. "But Harry, It's Snape. It's the slimy git who has no sense of humor. He's the one who decides to torture you every chance he gets. And now he's acting like that pansy, Lockhart. Even though you know he feels hurt, don't you feel some sort of vindication?"

"A little bit," Harry admitted. Harry smiled slightly.

"Look, if you want to stay here and talk it up with Snape, go ahead. I'm going back to the common room." Ron started to walk away. Harry walked with him.

"Hermione is staying with him." Harry said. There was an odd silence.

Ron began to smile.

"He said his hair was ghastly looking. It took him how long to realize it?"

The two laughed. As they walked back to the Gryffindor common room, they joked on poor Professor Snape.

More coming soon.


End file.
